


If Only

by RAGNVINDRLUVBOT



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:35:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27966920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RAGNVINDRLUVBOT/pseuds/RAGNVINDRLUVBOT
Summary: After the deaths of seven classmates and the destruction of their last hope, Makoto and Byakuya finally reveal to each other how they truly feel not just about each other, but life itself.
Relationships: Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	If Only

_ A book. A coarse, hard novel. Anything to get my mind off of the hopelessness of the situation we’re in. _

The blood in Makoto’s veins pulsated heavily, coursing with heat and dread. With Alter Ego, the only hope any of the students of Hope’s Peak had of reaching the outside world, destroyed and seven classmates deceased, the immense heartache and despair of the situation clogged Makoto’s stomach and made him feel sick.

_ A distraction… that’s it. _

_ Thud, thud. _ The hollow sound of Makoto’s footsteps echoed across the halls of the second floor of Hope’s Peak academy, the only sound to be heard.

And, as if his biggest dream and yet his most horrible nightmare felt like it was coming true, Byakuya Togami’s icy, piercing gaze stabbed right through Makoto’s heart as he set foot into the library. To be completely honest, though, where else did he expect Byakuya to be, other than completely absorbed by a book, soaking up each word like a sponge?

Makoto was completely aware that he was in love with Byakuya. But, that was the least of his worries right now.

“Ah, Makoto.” Byakuya’s familiar, stern voice was cold, hiding and sheltering any possible emotion. “What could you possibly be doing here, this late into the night?”

“Well, I…” Makoto’s voice cracked, hiding a small choke back of tears. “I was just looking for something to read.”

As Byakuya’s gaze softened ever so slightly, memories of the trial flooded back - Kyoko. It felt as if it was all orchestrated by her. Her “passion for solving mysteries” overshadowed a cold, flawed intent, with no regard for any other human’s emotions so long as it reached the truth. And it broke Byakuya, broke him so close to what felt like it was beyond shattered, beyond repair. Makoto could almost feel the burning, pounding pulsations of Byakuya’s heart beating as if the two shared a heartbeat, shared an emotion.

_ Byakuya… if only I could tell you. If only I knew sooner. _

Scoffing, Byakuya’s voice snapped Makoto back to reality. “Come on, please. You and I both know that’s not the  _ actual _ reason.”

_ He knows. _

“So… then… what  _ is _ the reason?” Makoto shot back, his voice weak but filled with a bumbling confidence.

Byakuya’s glimpse on Makoto softened ever so slightly as he murmured exactly what he was thinking: “To forget her,” he muttered. “A distraction.”

Then, as if all on queue, it came back: Every word Byakuya had ever said to him. All the “I don’t like you”s, the clearly visible God complex, the slow, gradual opening up of his past shrouded in poison and his painful upbringing.

Makoto sighed softly, gathering his courage for what to say. “It’s okay, Byakuya. You don’t need to act all high and mighty around me if you can’t hold the act like this…”

Something flickered in the eyes of the prestigious heir. It was almost a soft, glittering sadness that had been tucked away for years, finally ready to reveal itself.  _ But why to me? I’m sure I don’t mean anything to him at all. _

“You certainly are something, Makoto Naegi. You…” Byakuya’s voice drifted away. The Ultimate Lucky Student and the Ultimate Affluent Progeny were left standing eye-to-eye in the library, no further words to say.

“I…” Makoto was going to apologize, but he knew it wouldn’t solve anything. “Do you trust me?” Makoto’s question gently pierced the silence of the air as he took slow strides from the library door, quickly standing up close to the noble Togami son.

“Do I… trust you?” Byakuya’s stern voice sounded nearly angry, but both of them knew it was just a front at this point.

Byakuya sighed and nearly collapsed to the ground. “Makoto Naegi, it seems you’re the only person I can trust anymore in this god-forbidden school.”

_ What…? He’s lying… _

“Byakuya, are you okay?!” A panic surged through Makoto; maybe now he could finally express more sincerity and gratitude towards Byakuya.

“I’m  _ fine, _ Makoto,” Byakuya sighed sharply, nearly snapping. “I would be better if my mind wasn’t so vulnerable to Kyoko’s lethal subtlety.” An action to Makoto’s surprise, Byakuya gently stroked Makoto’s cheek with his fingers, gently tilting up his head so that Makoto and Byakuya were gazing eye-to-eye. “However, I’m no stranger to your emotions, Makoto. I can tell that Kyoko’s actions are taking its toll on you. If not, then surely you would not be here.” His blue gaze was stern, yet it left the slightest room for a gentle understanding. “If you can find it in your heart to trust me, Makoto Naegi, then tell me - what has Kyoko done to you?”

What had just happened was nearly impossible for Makoto to comprehend.

Makoto’s voice creaked softly, unable to put out any words. There was so much that he wanted to say, in so little amount of time, how could he possibly put any of his emotions or worries into sentences? He heaved a sigh as tears began to well up slightly in his eyes.

“It’s so much… too much… I’ve never felt such heavy, intense worry before any of this.”   
  
“I used to just be a regular kid, with regular worries, regular problems… I’ve… never felt anything like this before.”

“It’s… starting to become too much. I don’t want to be forgotten here, Byakuya. I’m a forgettable kid, but I don’t want to be forgotten anymore. I want to get out of here, with everyone, but what comes after that..? I don’t even care at this point… what’s even out there? Aren’t we all just thrown to the dust in the end…?”

Makoto’s tears couldn’t be held back anymore. His breath heavy, tears flowed down his face like salty waterfalls. “It’s all pointless from here! We’re gonna die here… I know everyone relies on  _ me _ to solve all these mysteries or whatever, but what’s the point of trying to solve them if I know everyone else here doesn’t even give a crap about me in the first place?! Why… Why are we all stuck here…? Why can’t we all just get along? Why do I worry so much about whether or not people care about me when I could possibly end up dead..? Maybe I’m just overthinking… but… no. I’m sure that no one else in this school liked or cared about me to begin with, but they only admire me for whatever ability I have to reach the truth… and Kyoko implemented into me the idea that I’m the only one who can lead us all to the truth behind these cases. I’m not sure if this is all because of her… but… I don’t mean anything to anyone here… and I know I’m just going to be forgotten… because in the end, I know I’m just a nuisance to you all...”

A small silence echoed around the huge library of the school. Only small whimpers could be heard from Makoto.

A slight sigh heaving from Byakuya’s chest, his lips curled in, trying to think of a response.

“You are  _ far _ from a nuisance, Makoto Naegi.  _ I _ know, if anyone knows, what a real nuisance is, and you are far from the definition of a nuisance. I enjoy your company, well, more than you likely realize, and... as a matter of fact…” Byakuya softly sighed, letting the slightest hint of a smile creep out from his lips. “Honestly, Makoto, you’ve got to stop worrying about things that are never going to be true. If no one here really cared about you, don’t you think they would be acting much more hostile towards you? They would express that hate in a much more striking way.”

“It may all seem like a hopeless situation from here on out, but that’s just what this so-called ‘mastermind’ wants us to believe; they want to deprive us of all hope. You don’t want to let go of that hope, correct? We  _ will _ get out of here, I’ll see to it if no one else here does.”

“I promise, Makoto, no one here hates you or only believes in your ability to solve these mysteries of the school. I… care for you. More than I likely should. You…”

Before Makoto could reply, before Byakuya could continue, he leaned down slightly and grazed Makoto’s cheek with his finger. He pressed his lips onto Makoto’s, locking the two in a gentle kiss.

“You are my hope in the midst of this despair. I love you, Makoto.”

The only thing Makoto could do was freeze up. His cheeks flushed a deep pink, darker than the brightest sakura blossoms.

“Th-thank you, Byakuya…” Makoto murmured, trying to wipe the tears from his face. “I… love you too. I’ll do my best to believe you… because you bring hope to my heart too.”

The prodigal Togami son took Makoto by his hands, fitting them snugly into his palms. “Say, maybe I’ll let you sleep in my dorm room for the night. You should feel honored, but feeling like this is no excuse to neglect your needed sleep.”

Makoto giggled, his laugh bubbling back, all so familiar. “Pushy as ever, hehe… I would love that…”


End file.
